Goodbye, Mom.

My mother passed away this morning.  She was 81 years old.

My mom was always a fighter & strong willed.  I often thought that once she put her mind to something, no one short of God could change her mind.  There was a reason for her toughness.

In 1949, she had not one but two operations that removed the lower lobes of both lungs.  Lung operations in that day & age were often not survivable, but she beat the odds for both operations.  It’s my impression that these operations were of last resort, anything but routine, and less that 10% survivable rate.  And she was operated on twice!

Thus, she went through life with one-half of the breathing capacity of the rest of us.  But that certainly didn’t slow her down.  My father related to me that the doctors were absolutely against her becoming pregnant because of the risk to not only her, but to the baby as well.  Once again, she defied the odds (and the doctors, I suspect), and here I am.

This does not mean that she was a strict, joyless person.  Well, she was strict…but I also remember her enjoying going to garage sales looking for deals on Fenton Glass & other items for the house.  She sewed & crafted, painted & created, taking justifiable pride in her house that she kept decorated with her treasures & creations.

And I remember Mom, Dad, and I sitting around the dining room table playing games.  Sorry, Trouble, Rack-o, and Canasta were just a few of the games we played for hours on end.  And yes, she was a cheerleader for her son’s Little League games, and supporter for the high-school band in which her son played.  She loved her husband, her son, and her grandson with all her heart.

Like all families, we had our spats & disagreements, but she always stood on her principles of right and wrong, and she was more often right on just about anything.  Perhaps that was maddening for some, but she was often a source of strength for others.  I know she was for my Dad, and admittedly, for me as well.

It was hard to think of Mom as not being a strong person.  Perhaps we, as children, always think of our parents as always being there for us even after we have moved out & started families of our own.  It’s a severe mental adjustment for us to realize that our parents are mortal, people just like anyone else.

Mom had health issues most of her life, especially within the last five or six years.  Her lungs were failing, and multiple infections with hospital visits over the past three months took their toll.

I visited with her this past Monday afternoon, and got her to smile once despite the obvious discomfort that she was having breathing.  That afternoon, she was taken to the hospital where her condition steadily worsened.  She was transferred to the hospice after my father and I talked to the doctor who confirmed there was nothing more that could be done except to make her comfortable.  She reportedly passed peacefully this morning.

No matter what happens in my life, I will always remember that last little smile my Mother gave me, and the feeling of love that accompanied that smile.

Goodbye, Mom.  I will always love you.

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About Tom Roland

EE for 25 Years, Two Patents - now a certified PMP. Married twice, burned once. One son with Asperger's Syndrome. Two cats. Conservative leaning to the Right. NRA Life Member.
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6 Responses to Goodbye, Mom.

  1. Pete says:

    (from an email)

    Tom,

    So sorry to hear about your mom. My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family.

    Regards,
    Pete

  2. Yabu says:

    My condolences.

  3. Tom says:

    My thanks to you both for your condolences.

  4. LA Sunset says:

    Tom, my life is so chaotic and hectic these days that I have so little time to even manage my own blog. With this in mind, it goes without saying that I don;t get to other people’s blogs much either. So I am so sorry I just now learned this.

    Please accept my belated sympathies on the loss of your mother. Losing a parent is a significant event in a person’s life. It is something of a rite of passage, albeit not a pleasant one. Knowing they will likely pass before us does not ease the grief a whole lot. I hope that in time, you can find some measure of relief from the loss. Like I said, we expect to lose parents, but that expectation does not make it any easier.

    Take care, my friend. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

  5. Tom says:

    LA, no need to apologize. Our lives are all chaotic, and often we are not able to do as we would like due to the lack of time & energy, My blogging and visiting activities are severely limited as my time is taken up with work and home activities.

    Take care, and Merry Christmas.

  6. Braden says:

    My condolences to you and your family. Mom’s are the mortar mix that hold a family together, without a doubt.

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