Yes, if you call now, you can receive, at no cost to you, the celebrated Bill Clinton / Jimmy Carter Nuclear Proliferation package!! No money down (ever!)!! Be the first in your hemisphere to own a nuclear power plant and all the perks that go with it!! IS THAT A DEAL OR WHAT?!?!?!
Included in this exclusive package offered by the respectable Despot & Dictator Appeasement Company (LLC) are all the materials & resources needed to build TWO – yes, TWO of your own nuclear reactors! Also included are easy to follow instructions, and over $1,000,000,000 to fund this once in a lifetime opportunity!!
And if you call before supplies run out, look at the Bonus Gifts that you will receive:
- A Micheal Jordon Autographed Basketball!! (Micheal Jordan not included, display case extra)
- A lifetime supply of peanuts!! Just perfect for watching missile launches!!
- And to wash down those peanuts, a limited supply of Billy Beer!!
- Lead lined underwear!! Now you can watch the blue glow of nuclear fission in your own personal nuclear reactor and protect those valuable family assets!
- A Classic Movie subscription to such classics as Dr. Strangelove, A Boy and His Dog, the Mad Maxx series, and other post-nuclear apocalypse favorites.
- A lifetime pass to the Bill Clinton Presidential Library, where you can view such exhibits such as:
- A blue dress once worn by Monica (small stain on the shoulder).
- A cigar reputed to have been “smoked” without actually being lit.
- Papers from Travelgate and the Rose Law Firm.
- And as a special Bonus, vacation property in the famous Whitewater retirement community!!
But wait!! That’s not all!!
As part of this special and exclusive offer, a non-inspection package that will keep those pesky Useless Nations nuclear inspectors out of your hair!! Yes, you have the freedom to build in peace those wonders of nuclear power. But only if you call now!! Operators are not standing by!!
Call now at 1-800-GET-NUKE!!
(Some restrictions apply. Not to be used for developing nuclear weapons – only your promise is necessary to secure this offer. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.)