Paddington Bear Kills 2500!!

Paddington Bear, a favorite of children everywhere, has been implicated earlier this month in multiple deaths in Milford, NH. He was caught at the scene of the crime dressed in a yellow raincoat and hat.

Mr. Bear is accused of murder by one of the most heinous methods – suffocation. The crime occurred at the New Hampshire Fish and Game Hatchery. The details of the crime are somewhat sketchy, but it is surmised that Mr. Bear blocked a drain in a tank, depriving oxygen to 2500 trout. The motive for the crime is unknown as Mr. Bear has asserted his 5th Amendment Rights and isn’t talking to the investigating authorities.

The investigation is continuing into the crime, and the attorneys for the victims may pursue Mr. Bear for damages if the investigation finds that this is a hate crime as defined by Federal statutes.

At this time, the crime does not appear to be terrorist-related. To bear this out, a group calling itself the I.R.A. (Islamic Rights for Animals) has issued a fatwa on Mr. Bear since some of the victims may have been followers of Mohammed, which has prompted authorities to move Mr. Bear to an undisclosed toybox.

For the actual AP report on this incident, the link is here.

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About Tom Roland

EE for 25 Years, Two Patents - now a certified PMP. Married twice, burned once. One son with Asperger's Syndrome. Two cats. Conservative leaning to the Right. NRA Life Member.
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One Response to Paddington Bear Kills 2500!!

  1. Tom says:

    This story sounds awfully fishy.
    wordsmith | Homepage | 10.01.06 – 12:22 am | #

    I am sorry that the fish died, but I am cracking up. Is that bad?
    Teresa | Homepage | 10.03.06 – 3:44 am | #

    What’s really fishy and bad (bad fish?) is that AP picked up this story. Must have been a slow day for Bush-bashing…
    Tom | Homepage | 10.05.06 – 5:12 am | #

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