Friday’s Market Report

Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.

Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply.

Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points.

Hiking equipment was trailing.

Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.

Weights were up in heavy trading.

Light switches were off.

Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remain unchanged.

Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.

The market for raisins dried up.

Coca Cola fizzled.

Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.

Sun peaked at midday.

Balloon prices were inflated.

Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.

And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.


About Tom Roland

EE for 25 Years, Two Patents - now a certified PMP. Married twice, burned once. One son with Asperger's Syndrome. Two cats. Conservative leaning to the Right. NRA Life Member.
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One Response to Friday’s Market Report

  1. Tom says:

    Copied from HaloScan Comments on Tom’s Common Sense

    Now that’s funny!!
    kelly/klass | 03.31.06 – 6:02 pm |

    As an anxiety filled market watcher, trader and general grump, this is funnier than all get out.

    I_let_maryjo_drown | 04.01.06 – 1:27 am |

    Teresa [the other one] | 04.01.06 – 8:58 am |

    Very funny!
    Tim | 04.01.06 – 9:35 am |

    wordsmith | 04.01.06 – 11:28 am |

Comments are closed.